


The Beginning

by firecracker189



Series: Our Little Family [16]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Diapers, Gen, Non-Sexual Age Play, Pacifiers, Wetting, baths, bed wetting, daddy!Bucky, little!steve, nsap, thumb sucking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-30
Updated: 2018-08-30
Packaged: 2019-07-04 09:28:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15838458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firecracker189/pseuds/firecracker189
Summary: Someone asked me for a 'how did Steve and Bucky get into age regression' backstory, so here it is! (First) Prequel to "Our Little Family" Series. Set before "A Long Journey To Find You Again".





	1. Chapter 1

The first time it happened, it was just natural. It wasn't long after Ma Rogers had passed away, and Bucky had been looking after Steve for most of their lives anyway. Bucky was dragging, exhausted from working a double shift at the Ford plant to pay for their next few months of rent. He stumbled up the stairs and into the apartment, which still looked far too wrong without Sarah there. The door slammed behind him and Bucky shucked off his grimy jacket as he went, looking around. "Steve?" he hollered. 

"In here," Came the soft reply, so quiet he nearly missed it.

Bucky pushed open the bathroom door to find Steve sitting forlornly in the bath, hair wet and looking like a sad mess as he looked up at Bucky from underneath his dripping bangs. The steam that radiated off the sweet smelling water curled up gently as Bucky tossed his jacket back into the main room, working at the buttons on his dirty shirt. "What's the matter?" he asked, frowning. He'd already started to worry, mentally going down the list of everything Steve was normally sick with, all his chronic problems, trying to figure out just what had him looking so bad. 

Steve looked down at his hands and it looked like the weight of entire galaxies was on his shoulders as he sighed. "I..." he started, voice breaking. "I can't do it, Buck. I...I can't..." a few tears slid down his cheeks, and Bucky made a little sympathetic noise in the back of his throat as he threw the shirt after his jacket. 

"Hey," he said gently, squatting down in front of the tub. "Hey, it's alright, pal. You don't have to, remember? I'm right here." he reached out and put a hand on Steve's wet one, rubbing his thumb across bony knuckles in a soothing pattern. "Whatever it is you can't do, I'll help ya. Now tell me what it is." he urged quietly, hating to see Steve get so worked up. 

Steve looked up at him suddenly and his face crumpled, broken sobs tearing out of his chest as he toppled forward. "Can't!" he gasped. "Can't...I can't...she...she's gone, Buck. She's not coming back," Steve keened a little, and Bucky wrapped his arms around him. 

"I know," he murmured, feeling his own eyes get wet. Sarah Rogers had been a truly remarkable woman with room in her heart for everyone. She'd for all intents and purposes adopted him and his siblings when his own Ma had passed away. She'd been so important to him, too. "I know, Steve. I know. I miss her too. But first things first, yeah? You're in the bath, so we oughta get you cleaned up, hmm?" every part of Steve that Bucky touched left greasy smears on his pale skin. "Well," he conceded. "Maybe we both need to clean up." 

He pulled away softly and Steve whined at the loss of contact. Bucky felt his chest constrict as just how wrecked and tired and small Steve looked. "Don't worry. Just tryin' to take my dirty clothes off." he assured with a soft smile. That protective feeling he got whenever he saw Steve in danger was flaring up again, filling him with the need to ease Steve's mind. Bucky shimmied out of his shorts and socks, bundled up the clothes, and tossed them out the door. The bundle hit the wood floor with a thud as he turned back to Steve. "Easy," he soothed, laying a hand on one of Steve's skinny shoulders. "Now scoot over so I can help you." Bucky snagged a wash rag from the pile on the shelf above the toilet and stepped into the tub. It was a little bit of a tight fit for him, but he'd make it work. "Turn around?" he asked, getting the rag wet and soapy. Steve's wet blue eyes held a question in them as he tried to regulate his desperate breathing. "Easy, pal. Just gonna get you all cleaned up. Hold still for me." 

Steve was pliant as Bucky washed him off, eventually calming so much that he stopped crying altogether. "Shut your eyes?" Bucky asked, and Steve did so.  _God,_ but he just looked so innocent and...and just plain needy. Bucky thoroughly washed Steve's hair, rinsing it twice until it was smooth and silky beneath his fingers. Once he'd done Steve, he gave himself the quickest possible once over as the water turned cold. He didn't want Steve to sit in the cold water any longer than he had to. That done, he dropped the rag and stood up, stepping out of the tub and slinging a towel around his hips. "Stand up for me?" he held out a hand and Steve took it trustingly, oddly withdrawn and silent, but not really in a bad way. More like...a trusting way. Like he felt safe and he knew that Bucky would be there to take care of him, so he didn't feel the need to speak. Bucky helped him out of the tub and stood him on the rug, unfolding another towel and drying off Steve's hair before gently moving to dry off his body. 

"You wanna go pick out some pajamas?" Bucky asked him tentatively, voice soft as he went with his instinct and took Steve's hand. Steve nodded back, just as tentative as he let Bucky lead him into the bedroom. There wasn't too much to choose from: they both had two pairs on rotation, and whenever they didn't feel like sleeping in them or laundry wasn't done, they just slept in their skivvies. He grabbed the soft blue checked ones and put them on the bed, going over to the drawer and taking out a pair of Steve's shorts. Kneeling down on the cool wood, Bucky held the shorts out at foot level. "Step in," he ordered softly, and Steve bent forward, putting a hand on his shoulder as he stepped into his underwear. 

As he rose up to grab the pajama pants, Bucky caught another glance at Steve's face. He was calm, nothing but trusting as he stared up at Bucky like he held all the secrets in the universe. Bucky felt something warm settle right in his stomach, like he'd just drank something warm on a cool day. He half bent and held the pants out. Steve stepped in and he settled them around his waist, tying the string around his hips so the pants wouldn't just fall off of him. Next he picked up the shirt and helped maneuver Steve's limbs through the sleeves, buttoning it up in no time. "My turn," Bucky said with a little smile, and Steve smiled back at him. Bucky dried himself off quickly and put on his own pajamas. "Alright, pal. I think it's time you and I got in bed, hmm?" Steve nodded softly and Bucky moved around to the head of the bed, pulling the covers back and settling the pillows against the mattress. "Climb on in," he patted at the mattress and wandered off to shut the curtains and turn off all the lights. By the time he'd returned to the bed Steve was fighting sleep, and as soon as Bucky slid in beside him and pulled up the blankets, Steve was plastering himself up to his side. 

"Mm, someone's cuddly, huh?" Bucky murmured, struck by the change in Steve's demeanor. He was almost like...well, like a child. And the thing was, Bucky didn't mind it. He was already trying to figure out more ways to see Steve like this, to get to take care of him again as he ran a hand through Steve's damp hair. Steve melted against him and hummed softly. "Yeah, there we go," Bucky said softly, approvingly as he watched Steve's eyelids fluttering. "Good boy." he praised, as Steve began to relax further. 

Bucky took a little longer to fall asleep, despite his exhaustion. He couldn't take his mind off of Steve. Or the way that he'd started to suck on a couple of his fingers once he'd finally fallen asleep. It was downright adorable. 

\----

The next few times it happened, Bucky was ready. In fact, between the second and third times Bucky had taken a bit of liberty to purchase a few items he thought would maybe tickle Steve's fancy next time he was feeling so young. But he waited until the fourth time before he really broke them out. Steve was laying on his stomach, drawing pictures on a blank sheet of paper with a pencil and humming softly to himself. Bucky grinned at the sight as he cleared his throat. "Hey, Stevie?" 

Steve looked up curiously, eyes wide. "Hmm?" 

"I gotcha somethin'. You wanna come see what it is?" 

Steve frowned suspiciously and gave Bucky a look that clearly said 'what is it?' as he put down the pencil. Bucky peered curiously at the paper to see what he'd drawn and stifled a soft smile. Just a bunch of un-coordinated very un-Steve-like squiggles. 

"C'mon. You'll have to see, won't you?" he stuck out a hand and Steve scrambled to get to his feet, toddling over and taking his hand tight in his own delicate one. "Don't be mad," Bucky continued. "I just gotcha a couple things, but...I thought you might like them. If you don't then that's okay, but...I hope you do." he nearly whispered as he took Stevie over to the bed and let go of his hand. Bucky knelt down and pulled a box from underneath the bed frame, opening it up and setting it on the mattress. He took a deep breath and presented the first item to Steve. "I got you a blanket," he said quietly, holding out the soft yellow flannel to him. He watched with bated breath as Steve took the material between his fingers and looked it over. "Do...do you like it, honey?" Bucky asked nervously. Steve hugged it to his chest and nodded so vigorously Bucky laughed. "I'm glad. I uh, I got a couple more things for you." he continued, fishing in the box. "I got you some blocks, and uh, and this," he held out the pacifier and Steve's eyes widened. "You don't have to if you don't want to!" Bucky hurriedly backtracked, but soon Steve was shaking his head, eyes teary as he snatched the object from Bucky's hand. 

"Want," he insisted, flinging himself at Bucky and hugging him tight. After a moment he let go and pointed at the box curiously. "More?" 

"Yeah, um," Bucky cleared his throat and tried his damnedest not to just smile like a fool then and there. "I.." he flushed a little. "I kinda got you a few diapers. You don't gotta use them, but I thought..." he shrugged, looking up from the box to gauge Steve's reaction. Steve stood there quietly for a minute, holding the blanket to his chest and the pacifier in one hand. 

"Wanna see," he decided. 

Bucky obliged, holding up one of the large cloth diapers. "There's pins in the box too." Steve scrutinized it carefully, the tips of his ears pink in a way Bucky knew meant he was a little bit nervous. But then he started to bite his lip and fidget and Bucky set it back down, putting a hand on his arm. "Stevie?" he bent down and looked him in the eye. "If you wanna try the diapers, I won't be mad. I got them for you so that you'd be more comfortable. Do you want to put one on?" Bucky went right to the point, knowing Steve was probably a little too small mentally to really speak his own mind. Ever so slowly Steve nodded and Bucky couldn't resist the urge to kiss his forehead. "Okay. Alright, we can do that. Let's get your pants off first and then we can get you changed." he gave an encouraging smile as he reached for Steve. "Put your blanket down for me," he said, making sure to keep his tone soft and soothing. Once Steve had deposited the item onto the bedspread, Bucky worked his pants down his legs. "Now step out of those pants," Bucky let Steve steady himself against his shoulder and got the pants off him, putting the pants on the bed with the blanket. "Now for those icky big boy shorts," he murmured, unable to keep the phrase from passing his lips. It just seemed right given the situation and Steve's current mindset. 

Steve stood mutely as Bucky set his underwear aside and laid out a diaper on the bed. He looked a little bit nervous but Bucky made sure to rub at his arm soothingly as he adjusted him on the bed, rubbing at his stomach softly before he pulled the fabric up around his hips and pinned it in place. "There we go," he cooed softly. Steve blushed a deep shade of red and then reached up to put the pacifier in his mouth, sucking at it tentatively. "That's a good boy," Bucky murmured to him as he worked Steve's pants back up over the bulk of the diaper. 

It was already humiliating enough that Bucky could somehow get him into this kind of mental state where he felt so...innocent and cared for and just...small. But now Bucky had moved on to diapering him like he really was some sort of infant. Steve squirmed and whined softly, struggling with the two clashing desires in his mind. On one hand he wanted to keep feeling like this, because it felt so good to be cared for but on the other hand...he felt so embarrassed that he was dragging Bucky into this...whatever it was. But then Bucky was shushing him and sitting him up to hug him and all thoughts left his head except how good it felt to be surrounded by Bucky's warmth as he sucked at the rubber of the pacifier. 

Bucky ran a hand through Steve's hair and hummed softly. "Come on, sweet boy. How about you an' me just lay down for a little bit, hmm?" 

\----

"Dada!" Steve wailed again, holding onto Bucky for dear life. He'd been crying ever since Bucky told him the news. 

Bucky sighed loudly and rubbed at Steve's back. "I know baby boy. I know but you gotta promise to stay here and stay safe okay? And you can write me as many letters as you want to," he coaxed, wiping some wetness from his own eyes. "Daddy will be very happy if you can just stay here, at home, and be safe." Bucky whispered, pressing his cheek to Steve's hair. "Please, for the love of God, stay safe." 

\---

Ever since he'd heard that he was so close to Bucky's unit, Steve was going crazy to find them. He'd had a lot to adjust to in the past several months, not the least of which being that he'd been terrified ever since his Daddy had gone out in harm's way. He'd fought through the entire HYDRA unit to rescue them, and sat relentlessly by his bedside until Bucky regained consciousness. Then he'd diligently waited until Bucky was back to fighting fit before offering to share his cabin with him. They'd added a second cot to the Captain's quarters, and as soon as the two of them had showered and had a square meal, Bucky dragged his rucksack into the cabin and kicked the door shut. 

"Shit, it's cold out there," he commented, dumping his bag on the floor. He'd meant to catch up, maybe scold Steve for very much NOT staying safe or out of harm's way, but it seemed like Steve had other ideas. 

"Daddy," he whispered, face crumpling. 

"Oh, hey, none of that," Bucky tried his hardest to smile and push through the obvious emotional turmoil they both carried. "I'm right here." 

Steve slammed into him and it was like being hit headfirst with a jeep. A very clingy jeep. Bucky wrapped his arms around him and marveled at just how healthy he was now. His boy truly was a good armful now. "Daddy's right here," he murmured. "Now why don't we both get dressed for bed," he spoke right into Steve's ear, over his insistent sobs. "And then we can just have a good long cuddle." 

It took him a while to get Steve to stop clinging to him for long enough to get him out of his clothes and into his pajamas, but eventually they both got changed. "I'm so sorry we don't have any of your things, honey." he apologized, but it seemed Steve was making do just fine with his thumb as Bucky wrangled them onto the two cots he'd smushed together to make enough room for them. That was certainly new. Steve never used to take up that much room. He laid down and Steve curled up against him, hiccuping softly around his thumb as he listened to Bucky's heartbeat. 

"That's it, baby." he murmured softly. "You just go right to sleep. 'Cause Daddy's here." 

Bucky didn't even mind when he woke up the next morning saturated in Steve's piss. Because he knew that Steve couldn't control himself. And honestly Bucky would rather have pee all over him and have Steve back in his life than be completely clean and Steve-less. He might not even be alive if his baby hadn't come to rescue him. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve doesn't get a lot of time to regress given his mantle as Cap. Bucky helps. There's angst. I hate myself for putting these soft boys through all of this, but it's necessary given that he comes back later in this timeline.

Bucky would never say he wasn't glad to have Steve around again, or that he wasn't grateful and a little bit gleeful that being with the Howling Commandos gave him the opportunity to break down HYDRA bases rather than leaving the men that tortured them to walk around perpetuating more disgusting things on the face of the earth. But the more time he spent with Steve as "Captain America", the more he worried about how the war was affecting him. Being in charge for so long, and doing such violent things for so long, Bucky was convinced,  _had_ to have negative affects on how Steve would react when he was feeling small. So he stuck close to him and watched, waiting for what he assumed would be the inevitable meltdown brought on by stress. Granted they didn't get a lot of time where things were private enough to indulge in their little rituals, given the frequency people wanted Cap to be out on field missions. 

But he tried. Whenever they shared a tent he made sure to remind Steve to do things like drink water and when available take advantage of heated tubs of water to bathe himself. But usually Steve was far too exhausted to do much beyond eat and crash until his turn to stand watch happened. But boy did Bucky try to nudge Steve subtly into that direction. He didn't get another chance until their group got separated by a snowstorm in the hills of France. Each man had a pack with supplies, and everyone had a partner that had the tent on his back. Bucky and Steve had wandered around in circles for hours as the storm got worse, snow blowing into their eyes. "Hey!" Bucky shouted, and Steve turned. "We should set up camp here! There's no chance at finding the others until this storm dies down!" Steve nodded and slung the pack off his shoulders, handing Bucky the canvas while he fished for the tent pegs and the hammer. Soon enough, with difficulties owing to the mounting winds, they'd gotten their tent firmly lodged in place and tightly wound so it wouldn't collapse on them. Bucky pointed and Steve ducked inside. Once they were both inside, Bucky tied the tent flaps as tightly as he could so that snow couldn't blow in, and shrugged his pack off his shoulders. 

"First things first," he said, slightly hoarse from the yelling. "We gotta change into something dry and get into those bed rolls or we're gonna get frostbite. He kicked off his shoes and peeled off his wet socks, gesturing to Steve. "C'mon, hop to it. I don't want to see you freeze." Steve started to undress and Bucky nodded in approval. "Better." He bundled his wet clothes to the side for the moment and dug through his pack, settling on a pair of long underwear. That done he tugged on his last shirt and pair of pants, rolling a slightly smelly but not too bad pair of socks onto his feet. Once Steve was dressed Bucky laid out the bed rolls one on top of the other to try and protect them more from the icy ground beneath them. "Lay down," he ordered, and draped both their blankets over him once he had. "Alright. Now you and I are going to lay down and conserve body heat and try not to freeze before this storm rolls over." he mumbled to himself, as he lay down beside Steve. "C'mere, punk." He slung his arms over Steve and tugged him close. Steve pressed his nose up against his neck and Bucky hissed. "Goddamnit, Stevie your nose is like ice!" 

Steve squeaked softly. "M'sorry." he mumbled and Bucky laughed softly. 

"That's okay. We're both pretty frozen, huh?" Steve nodded against him.  

"Mm," Steve stuck a few of his fingers in his mouth and Bucky sighed. 

"That's so gross, your hands are most definitely dirty." But he didn't press the issue, because he knew just how much Steve had endured the last few months, and how much he needed to unwind a little. 

Steve whined softly. "Dada," he mumbled, sounding like he might start to cry. 

Bucky shushed him and held him even tighter. "I know baby boy. I know things are so scary right now and that you've got a lot to deal with. But that's okay, because I'm right here, and you and I are gonna have some quality time together, and then we're gonna go back out there when it's safe and go help take down more bad guys." 

* * *

 

When Stevie heard Daddy say 'take down more bad guys', he hadn't quite expected that it would include jumping down a mountain onto a moving train. He bit his lip and then turned around from looking into the valley to give the guys a cocky smile. He  _really_ didn't feel like Cap at the moment. But they were relying on him, so he'd suck it up and then maybe find Daddy later that night and beg for some cuddles. He took a deep breath and looked over at Daddy. The way he stood there with his hands on his belt looking so confident made Stevie feel more confident too. They were gonna win. They mostly always won. But sometimes people died and it was really sad. But Daddy said it was up to him as the leader to make sure that nobody died. So he was gonna do his best. He threw his shoulders back and nodded. He was ready. And just like that he felt his grownup self returning to him and pushing the balance in favor of Big Steve. He turned to Bucky and smiled a little. 

"Remember when I made you ride the Cyclone at Coney Island?" Buck's smile was downright impish. 

"Yeah, and I threw up?" Steve said with an incredulous quick of his eyebrows. 

"This isn't payback, is it?" And Steve suddenly noticed that maybe Bucky was as nervous as he was. 

"Now why would I do that?" He smiled back and jumped off the ledge. 

* * *

 

He thought things were really going pretty well, up to the point where Bucky got isolated from him in the other car. Steve felt his blood run cold, panic gripping at his heart as he watched Bucky fighting without him. Steve fought his best to get back to him, to try and make sure that he was safe again, that he could look out for him again. 

But despite his best efforts, things still went south. So far south that he wasn't quite sure how he ended up hanging out of a broken train car while Bucky's life waited in the balance. Steve stretched, panic filling him up as he reached for Bucky. "Take my hand!" He stretched further and Bucky's panicked face made his heart race further. Bucky stretched, reaching for him...and the bar gave way. All he could see was Bucky's mouth forming his name as he fell. 

Steve clung to the side of the train and cried. "Daddy..." 

The troop that returned to camp that night was solemn and withdrawn. Nobody spoke. Liquor was passed around the camp like medicine, but all Steve did was lay in his bed roll and face away from everyone, silent tears streaking down his cheeks. 

He wasn't little after that for a long time. Not till the plane went down into the freezing water. When he was freezing, sometimes he saw visions of Daddy, standing there looking soft. "Dada," he whimpered, right before everything went solid and cold for a long time. 


End file.
